KYLE Gives Us His VERY WORST Films of 2017

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THE WORST FILMS OF 2017

BY KYLE ARANGO

Well, we did the best films of the year and now it is time for the worst. This year has been great, but there has been some fartboxes. When it was bad, it was bad and was not fun. Now there are some turds I did not see this year simply because I listen to what others are saying, so they will not be on this list (Emoji Movie, Bye Bye Man, Pirates 5). So here we go.

10. Ghost in the Shell

To start off, we have Scarlett Johannsson’s latest Ghost in the Shell. This movie was just “bleh”. Nothing more or less. Completely forgettable and a waste of such rich source material. It looks great, but can’t say much more. I just couldn’t wait for this film to end and when it finally did, I felt like I just wasted my day.

9. Transformers: The Last Knight

Now I fully acknowledge that this is not a good film. However, we are five movies in and we have come to the point where I just expect something bad from this franchise. Why it is not higher on the list is because it was not as bad as the last one. That’s like saying that a turd doesn’t smell as bad as the last one. Not a compliment, but not as bad as it could’ve been.

8. The Mummy

This movie falls into the disappointment category. There was so much potential here for a successful franchise, instead we got the classic case of putting the cart before the horse. Instead of making a good movie, they wanted to build a franchise which is not going to happen now. Tom Cruise is completely miscast here, and contributes to a terrible and dumb movie.

7. Despicable Me 3

Now here we have movie in a franchise that should be dead already. Despicable Me 3 was one of the biggest cash grabs of the year where all they wanted to do was make money instead of a good movie. They shoved in so many different plots that turned out to be nothing. The minions need to go away forever, they’ve run their course. This movie was just miserable for adults and for kids.

6. Fist Fight

Next up we have that one Charlie Day movie in Fist Fight. A comedy that had me laughing once the entire time. This is a stupid premise to begin with having two teachers fight, but they execute it so poorly, that it just feels so lazy. They failed to use Charlie Day and Ice Cube correctly and as a result, failed at making a movie. There is only one good scene here and if you’ve seen the movie, you know what I’m talking about.

5. Life

Remember this movie earlier this year? Well you shouldn’t because it was terrible. Life was the most predictable movie of the year about an alien hunting down crew members in space. Sound familiar? Yeah because it is dumb Alien rip-off that does nothing new or interesting (Alien Covenant wasn’t much better). Anyways, don’t bother searching for this film, just see Alien instead.

4. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

This was one of the worst experiences I’ve had this year. Valerian made me so angry because it had such potential to make something intriguing. Instead, we got a movie that didn’t know if it was for kids or adults. Tones are all over the place here and it just makes you as the viewer confused. This was one I wanted to walk out of because instead of getting better, it just got worse and worse.

3. The Fate of the Furious

Why do people keep seeing these things? You gave a billion dollars to this crap but didn’t see Blade Runner 2049? This was officially the stupidest movie I’ve seen this year with nothing to offer but unrealistic car sequences and a yelling Tyrese Gibson. Vin Diesel mumbles his way through yet another billion-dollar movie, and if we keep seeing crap, they’ll keep making it.

2. Rough Night

At number two we have the least funny comedy of the year. Rough Night? How about rough movie because that is what I felt sitting in the theater. Scarlett Johannsson shows up on this list again which is really disappointing because she is such a good actress and does not need to be in this crap. When a comedy can’t make you laugh, it’s a problem. Go see Girl’s Trip instead.

1. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

Here we go with the biggest piece of trash of the year in King Arthur. What a dumpster fire this was. I have not been more miserable in a theater before I saw this. Guy Ritchie fails to tell a compelling story, instead he makes a movie that feels sloppy and rushed. I am convinced that Ritchie should really change his way of making films because this movie was absolute garbage and had nothing redeeming about it.

Well there you go! My worst films of the year. Do you agree or disagree? Go ahead

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