Hey all, Steve here.
When you see as many movies as we do here at CineSportsTalk, you are bound to see some clunkers. Most films fall somewhere in-between clunker and greatness, but the movies that I am about to share with you clunked more than any others that I saw in 2014. As many movies as I saw in 2014, I didn’t see them all so I welcome your comments. Creating a list like this is very difficult and I tried to separate my disappointments from the complete wastes of time. There were many movies that I was disappointed with in 2014 (looking at you Lucy and Monuments Men), but there were 10 movies that I left the theater thinking what a complete waste of my life they were. All in all, my 10 worst movies of 2014 cost me 17 hours and 25 minutes of my life! Without further adieu, here we go!
Here is my problem with Kevin Hart. He tries too hard. I love his stand-up comedy, but I think he just needs to calm it down a bit in his movies. He is just too over-the-top and that doesn’t work for Steve. I guess he doesn’t have much reason to change his style though – he is still making millions doing what he does and, well I am still here writing about him.
When a kids movie is so dull that I wouldn’t even show it to my son then you know it’s absolute horse manure. It will bore you as you watch it with your children and it will not hold their attention. Believe me when I say that you and your kids can sit and watch paint dry and you will have more fun than you will watching The Nut Job.
There were two good things about seeing Into the Storm in the theater. The first is that it is only 89 minutes long. The second is the walk back to your car and knowing you can leave this mess behind you. Into the Storm might be the funniest movie on this list and it is not a comedy. A disaster movie in which you do not care about any of the characters is a recipe for, well…a disaster. Sorry I just had to go there.
This was one of the first movies I reviewed in 2014. It was absolutely horrendous. I went to see it myself as we were spread pretty thin with movie screenings that evening and I just remember laughing at some of the stupidity from the first 30 minutes or so. The rest of the movie was downright boring and just plain not scary. We should be done with these by now, but here comes Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension in March 2015. Someone please help us.
I’m not sure there was anything worse than having to sit through another typical Melissa McCarthy movie in 2014. She continues to give us the same over-the-top nonsense that is just not funny. She has taken her Bridesmaid character and bulked it up on steroids and I refuse to take it anymore! We all need to take a stand and make sure this doesn’t happen to us anymore. Let’s make today the day when the world declared in one voice that we will not go quietly into the night, we will not vanish without a fight and they we are going to live on and we are going to survive! Today, we celebrate our Indepen…wait, what just happened?
When you are talking about a movie that is supposed to be scary, there is nothing scarier than it not scaring you. You had one job. Scare me. Frighten me. Make me think twice about turning the lights off at night. You failed. Deliver Us From Evil was awful and it was one of the few movies of 2014 that I paid for (well technically I used a giftcard)! It happens when you are bored with a group of good friends and you have a sitter for the evening. Don’t fall into the trap.
Pompeii is the perfect example of trying to use a hot name to sell your piece of trash movie. Jon Snow in a gladiator movie is by no means a stretch. The stretch was putting someone who plays a character in something as great as Game of Thrones and putting him in this nonsense. I squirmed in my chair from boredom in this one. Jon Snow and Jack Bauer in a movie together and out popped this piece of crap. Who would have guessed?
Transcendence was easily one of the biggest flops of the year. With a budget of $100 million, it made just $23 million domestically and broke just above even when you add in its international earnings. The story just completely fell apart shortly after the movie started. The trailer received more than half the hits as the movie made dollars in the United States. That should tell you all you need to know about this one.
I can’t. I just can’t with Adam Sandler anymore. I feel like I can just reserve a spot for one of his movies on my worst list. Here is the deal for Blended. It was Sandler teaming up with Drew Barrymore for the first time since 50 First Dates and it was supposed to be different than Sandlers last 53 crappy movies. Well let me tell you something about expectations. They don’t fool Steve. Every Adam Sandler fan tried to tell me that this was going to be his return to glory. Steve 25 Sandler fans 0.
Labor Day was the biggest waste of my time of the year. I tried very hard to like it, but it just wasn’t possible. On the way back to my car I was downright furious that I just had to sit through a movie with what seemed like a 20 minute scene about making a peach pie. I just did a face-palm thinking about it. If I had one regret in 2014 it was seeing this movie. I take that back. I did it for all of you so that you don’t have to and that brings just a bit of joy to my life. Not really, but sometimes you have to say the right thing.