Steve’s 10 Worst Films Of 2017

Share Button

Hey all – Steve here. Yes, it is January 7th and we have established the fact that I have been late with some of these things from time to time. All that means is that the stage is all mine when I deliver my worst 10 and best 10 of 2017! That’s just the way I like it. So without further delay, here is my list of the 10 worst flicks I saw in 2017. Let’s go!

10. Dunkirk

They say to make your lists personal. Don’t follow the lead of others. Well, I am starting off by doing exactly that. Dunkirk is a film that is on many TOP 10 lists of 2017. I have yet to see it on a worst of 2017 list…until now of course. The only thing Dunkirk succeeded in doing was giving me a headache that still haunts me today. There were zero people that I cared about and the only thing that gave me any kind of excitement was when that damn ticking died. For me it was absolutely one of the worst experiences in a theater in 2017 – outside of Gilberto’s expression throughout. That will also stick with me for the foreseeable future.

9. Geostorm

Before I proceed I thought I should say that numbers 4 through 9 are mostly interchangeable. Now that we got that out of the way, let’s proceed. We have spoken about this ad nauseum in our group discussions that we have with the rest of the staff – Gerard Butler just doesn’t care anymore. He just wants to make money and that is all good. How could he have possibly looked at this script and seen the vision for Geostorm and thought that it was a good idea? If he did then he needs to fire his agent and hire CineSportsTalk to represent him. This was not The Day After Tomorrow or 2012 where there was a decent story to follow along with. Absolute nonsense.

8. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

I usually am on the side of audiences, but this one is inexcusable. It was boring and just out of whack. This was a huge Guy Ritchie misfire. Although I didn’t love The Man From U.N.C.L.E., it was 50 times better than this one. 69% of the audience liked this one? Perhaps there were a great deal of audiences seeing this in Colorado? This dud had a budget of $175 million and fell nearly $30 million short of that WORLDWIDE. I believe I have said enough.

7. Fifty Shades Darker

Before I get started with this one I am completely aware that I am not the target audience for this kind of stuff. That being said, I still need to review these things for all of you. It’s not lower on the list because I had zero expectations for it. I never saw the first one and men hated it and women mostly loved it. I saw this one with Scott and mostly laughed throughout the entire flick. Several whiskeys didn’t hurt either. I was also outside of the theater after the screening while a random fan of the site DEFENDED this trash to me. As I type this I realize that we are about a month away from another one. Ugh.

6. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

This one has me speechless. I nearly forgot about it before I read Kyle’s worst of 2017. This one was all over the place but went nowhere at the same time. It might have been the closest I came in 2017 to walking out of a screening.

5. The Great Wall

I think I can sum this one up pretty quickly. Matt Damon’s scene in (SPOILER ALERT) Thor: Ragnarok was better than anything you could have seen in The Great Wall. It was thoroughly UN-entertaining and downright boring.

4. Rough Night

There are few things in life that are worse than a comedy that is not funny. Perhaps a horror film that is not scary comes close, but a comedy with no laughs has nothing. Rough Night had nothing. I’m sorry to do this to ScarJo, but this was one of the least funny comedies of 2017.

3. Rings

First you watch it. Then you die. Was that the films motto or is it what they intended to happen to people in real life? It was an early 2017 release and you could tell. Not to say that all early releases are trash – just most. It is nothing more than incoherent drivel.


The one comedy that was less funny than Rough Night was this bad boy right here. Dax Shepard…what are you doing writing, directing and acting in this piece of trash? Why would you put your name on the line like that? It surely wasn’t Michael Pena who has been in some really good films like American Hustle, Million Dollar Baby, End of Watch, Ant-Man, Fury, etc. Dax has been in so many bad movies – who told him that he could direct AND write?

1. The Bye Bye Man

I saw this one in the first week of January in 2017 and it remained in my number one spot for worst flick of the year ALL YEAR LONG. Chips and Rings may have come close, but I just couldn’t consider anything else. From start to finish there is incompetence written all over this one. If you enjoyed this one then you were the target audience as incompetence was clearly directed at incompetence in this one. If you have seen The Bye Bye Man and enjoyed it then you are just someone that I don’t want to have in my life. I still love you, but I am concerned for your well-being.

That is all for this one. There you have my 10 worst films of 2017! Agree? Disagree? I love you either way, but I want to hear from you! My top 10 of 2017 will be up in the next few days. Until then…see ya!