The Money in the Bank PPV is almost here and, well, I’m underwhelmed. I think it’s because I’ve got it all figured out. However, anytime I’ve ever said that about anything, anytime, I’m wrong, so I’m excited about the possibilities of being surprised. All that being said, the road does look cleanly paved to the path ahead, and the end result of this journey looks all straight and clean. What does that all mean? Who the hell knows! I’m writing this with my two year old on my knees and listening to “Skin-a-rink-a-dink-a-dink” to keep him occupied, so……anyways, here goes nothing:
R-Truth vs. King Barrett
Pre-Show Kickoff Singles Match
Let’s see, win King of the Ring and feud with a guy who tried to steal your crown 6 days before the PPV. Sounds like he won American Idol and gets recognized for nothing, while the other competitors actually do something. King Barrett reigns supreme.
(Champions) New Day vs. Primetime Players
WWE Tag Team Championship Match
New Day has been killing it as heels, and, while I enjoy The Primetime Players and their backstage vignettes, I may be in the minority. The injury to Tyson Kidd kills their pledge to regain the titles, and I don’t see anyone else coming up and claiming them, unless Axelmania runs wild soon. Champs retain.
(Champion) Nikki Bella w/ Brie vs. Paige
WWE Divas Championship Match
Is Bella’s long run with the belt still paving the way for Charlotte to come up and revolutionize the business for women, or is it just an F-U to AJ Lee and her long reign? Either way, Bella retains.
Ryback vs. Big Show
WWE Intercontinental Championship Elimination Chamber Match
Should have held out the Shellshock until the PPV, but having Ryback win his first title after so long means he’s not losing it anytime soon. Plus, The Big Show doesn’t need this belt. Ryback is over, and he will stay so, especially when he goes over The Big Show.
John Cena vs. Kevin Owens
Kevin Owens will be the next big thing, if he isn’t already, so he should continue his run over Cena. Am I the only one who wants to see Owens vs Lesnar at Wrestlemania? Let’s hope that this doesn’t lead to your typical, lose to Cena and lose your spot on the roster…anyone who feuds with him seems to disappear. Owens wins.
Neville vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus vs. Kane vs. Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kofi Kingston
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Let’s eliminate the obvious: Neville, Kane, Kingston aren’t winning. Sheamus would be an interesting twist, but he’s been sliding for awhile now. Orton puts me to sleep, and really needs SOMETHING to rejuvenate his career. Ziggler would be fun again, but he seems destined for a Lana heel turn. Which leaves us with…..yawn…..Reigns. I yawn because it’s the most obvious. However, sometimes the most obvious is what’s needed, so……Reigns wins*.
*what would be awesome is for Brock Lesnar to return, destroy (almost) everyone, and take the MITB hostage.
(Champion) Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match
The Authority always has a plan. This has been fun, but there will be one of two things that happen: 1) Seth Rollins wins because of The Authority who planned this deception all along or 2) Dean Ambrose wins and Reigns cashes in his MITB contract, turns heel, and beats his buddy. It’s a coin flip, so, here goes…..my 5 year old said 2, and there you have it, Ambrose wins and Reigns cashes it in.